i don't know since when i started having a problem about this. everything seems normal until i reached a breaking point. suddenly i started being scared and tired at the same time. fear of failures, but have no urge to be productive. wanting to be alone, but didn't want to be lonely. caring about everything, then caring about nothing. feeling everything at once, then feeling paralyzingly numb.

there were a lot of times when i could finally pick up myself to properly face the world. but there were also those dark periods when i didn't know how to even find myself. the last thing i saw in myself is helplessness.

it's a tiring endless cycle. well, for the bright side, keep falling definitely makes me get stronger. just like my previous post about 'mature up', i believe that i'm strong enough to fight this long battle. wish me luck....

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