hi, it's almost been 2 weeks since my last post. actually, i don't know what i really want to write. a lot of things happen, towards me and people around me. but i don't know how to react in a proper way.

people often said that i'm weird. because in this kind of state, i always draw out myself from my surrounding, stay quite, and looks like a lost person. when people start to say, 'it seems like you need some rest', i just reply with a slight smile 'i always been like this. you are the one who never realize it.'

once, i start to open myself. but someone said something to me, 'let's start thinking that you are alone, and you don't need others to interfere in your mind. there's a lot of matter which more important to you'. and i reply lightly, 'am i already like that all this time?'. then he said 'oh, it's good'. although i always been like that, but those suggestion still sounds bitter for me.

i've been delusional all this time. i don't realize how much i cry for holding my feeling and stress alone. i dream myself as a independent person. no, it's not about friends, because i have a lot. but it's just me that always burden myself for no reason. it's just me that don't want the others to worry or think about me.

oh God, how pathetic i am.

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